To whom it may concern:

I would like to request that you drop this "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" business. It is causing my mother undue worry in my behalf. As evidence, I offer this transcript of a conversation I had with her Saturday night, after I called her from the parking lot (someone should look into that too):

"So are you still in the parking lot?"
"No, I'm trying to find my way back to the freeway."
"Oh, are you in a really bad part of L.A.?"
"Umm...no. I'm nowhere near L.A. I just had to turn right out of the parking lot instead of left, which led directly to the freeway. Now I'm headed toward a different on-ramp."

Clearly, this situation has gotten out of hand. My mother worries about me enough, what with my non-existent dating life and all. I do not need her to think I'm wandering lost through the slums of Los Angeles.

I suggest you revise the team name to the "Anaheim Angels." Simple, direct, and self-explanitory.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter. I look forward to a speedy resolution.